Two-thirds of the way into the college football season, one thing's clear: The state's favorite teams haven't heard their fight songs blared happily after touchdowns as often as they'd like.
Of course, this also means they've endured the gleeful strains of their opponents' theme songs way more than they can stomach.
Take the University of Iowa's fight song, which has driven fans of both University of Michigan and Michigan State University batty due to narrow losses to the Hawkeyes in recent weeks.
This pitiful tune born in the land of corn pales by comparison to the most familiar, much catchier fight songs heard around this part of the Great Lakes State.
Students sing these strains with real gusto, even though the tunes are dotted with less-than-hip terms such as vim, rah and hail. There's something about college sports -- especially football -- that demands rousing battle cries like these, as if troops are being sent off to war, even if these cries were written eons before the Internet, ESPN and Queen's "We Will Rock You."
Hey, the king of marches himself, John Philip Sousa, boldly dubbed the University of Michigan's "The Victors" the "greatest college fight song ever written," and he didn't even write it.
The University of Notre Dame's official Web site strikes a different chord, presumptuously proclaiming its "Notre Dame Victory March" -- co-written by a priest -- is "without a doubt the most recognizable collegiate fight song in the nation."
Spartans at Michigan State University also might claim to have God on their side, noting the melody to the "MSU Fight Song" was borrowed from an old hymn, "Stand Up, Stand Up for Jesus."
What ranks as the country's best college fight song is always up for bar room debate, but these three peppy marches in particular have inspired fans and stood the test of time: The U-M and Notre Dame fight songs are more than 100 years old; MSU's dates back to 1915.
Each fight song boasts a unique history or quirk of origin:
-- Music student Louis Elbel wrote "The Victors" immediately after a dramatic 1898 Michigan win over the University of Chicago, according to U-M's LSA Magazine. It eventually replaced the tune the band usually played: "There'll Be a Hot Time in the Old Town Tonight." Granted, neither tune has been sung after facing Ohio State in football in many moons.
-- Notre Dame's fight song, written by ND grads and brothers Michael and John Shea, was first performed in public on a Protestant church organ in Holyoke, Mass., not on the South Bend campus. Isn't a fight song delivered by a pipe organ sort of like "Smoke on the Water" played on an accordion?
-- Original lyrics to MSU's fight song didn't boast the school's "specialty is winning, and those Spartans play good ball," the school reports on its Web site. Instead, owing to its agricultural college roots, fans crooned: "its specialty is farming, and those farmers play football."
This early version also specifically mentioned rival Michigan with lines like "smash right through that line of blue," which MSU did pretty convincingly a few weeks ago, though Iowa's "line of black and gold" proved to be a tougher task.
Whatever fight song gets your loyalties and juices flowing, most folks around here agree on one thing: They all beat the pants off Ohio State University's silly Buckeye salutes, which includes their penchant for singing the tune, "We Don't Give a Damn About the Whole State of Michigan."
For one thing, the lame lyrics to OSU's "(Fight the Team) Across the Field" include pathetic lines such as "let's win that old conference now." Not only that, the team can't make up its mind, because Buckeyes have a second fight song played during games, I discovered. This ditty, "Buckeye Battle Cry," was written by a vaudeville performer, which could be why most Michiganders consider it a joke.
And that brings me to the following anecdote I ran across on pasteeaters.com:
A Michigan fan and an Ohio State fan are set to be executed. The Buckeye makes his last request: "I want to hear the OSU fight song one last time." The executioner then turns to the U-M devotee and asks for his final request. Without hesitation, the Michigan fan declares, "Shoot me first."
E-mail John Sinkevics: jsinkevics@grpress.com